Being grilled

Husband and wife are outside on their old-fashion porch getting ready to grill hamburgers for dinner. The grill is clearly the husband's domain and wife is clearly happy it is so. He bustles around with the preparations while she reclines comfortably in a lawn chair and stares off into the distance.

Husband, cooking happily at the grill: "Don't worry -- I know that you like your poor, defenseless burger cooked to the appearance of a charcoal briquette."

Wife, so relaxed that she is barely blinking: "Thank you, dear."

Husband, flipping a burger: "Do you want cheese on your burger?"

Wife, speaking low and lazy: "What kind of cheese?"

Husband , turning to face her: "I don't know. It's cheeeeeeeese. Do you want some?"

Wife, suspiciously: "Is it REAL cheese?"

Husband: "Of course it's 'real' cheese!"

Wife, trying to see the cheese package without moving from comfy chair: "What color is it?"

Husband, turning back to flip another burger: "Orange."

Wife: "Is it square?"

Husband, doing an annoying amount of clanging and banging for grilling two simple burgers: "Yes, just as God intended for fine cheese."

Wife, settling back into her chair: "That's not REAL cheese."

Husband, grabbing the package and showing it to her: "It says right here on the package: "Real cheese"."

Wife: "And my driver's license says I weigh 145 pounds. If it is orange, square and wrapped in individual slices then it's not REAL cheese."

Husband: "It's BETTER then real cheese. It's like SUPER cheese."

"Wife: "I don't want any on my burger."

Husband: "Good. Because I wouldn't give you any of this cheese if you begged me."

Wife, leaning back and closing her eyes: "Don't worry -- I won't."

Husband, returning to grill: "Cheese snob."

Long pause

Husband: "Do you want pickle?"

Wife, speaking low and lazy: "What kind of pickle?"

Husband: "A SUPER pickle."